Viola Davis, in her 2017 Oscars award acceptance speech, said, “[W]e are the only profession to
celebrate what it means to live a life.” She was talking about being an actor, an artist. And I agree,
art in all its forms is important to help people understand different aspects of life, different views,
and different ways to really live. However, I do not agree that acting is the only profession
celebrating“what it means to live a life”. I believe that the epitome of celebrating living life is being a mother or father.
Motherhood is nearly equivalent to life. It is mothers that bring the new life of an unborn child to
completion through pregnancy and childbirth. It is mothers who produce amazing nourishment
from their breasts that fills all food groups and nutrients for their infants. It is mothers who have a special bond with their children, and are the first responders for nightmares, skinned knees, and boy/girl troubles.
Fathers give their children the means to live life. It is fathers who provide a feeling of safety and
protection. It is fathers who ensure their children have food, clothing, and shelter so the children
can really live. It is fathers who help their children stretch their limits and learn to live a little more
bravely.
Parents together give their children life at conception. Parents together teach their children how to
live and why to live. Parents together give children an environment in which to live and learn and
grow. Parents live life to the fullest by creating new life and devoting their lives to those new lives.
Thank you, artists and actors, for celebrating and teaching us about living life.
Thank you fathers for celebrating and teaching us about living life, for providing the beginnings of
life, and for continuing to provide for your families so they can live a full life.
Thank you mothers for celebrating and teaching us about life, for providing the beginnings of life,
for raising us and helping us grow both before birth and after, for using your wonderful maternal instincts to make life truly worth living for everyone in your family.
Sometimes the roles are reversed. Sometimes there is a parent missing. But regardless the
circumstances, I believe parenthood is the epitome of celebrating “what it means to live a life.”
As a child, Tyler experienced sexual abuse from his mother. His father had left when he was a baby, and so he grew up fascinated by the idea of a father, inventing his own father figure in his imagination. When he reached high school, Tyler realized that he didn’t like girls but instead felt those feelings toward the other boys. When the other students found out, he was called cruel names and lost most of his friends.
Amy grew up in a highly religious household, and came to believe strongly in that religion herself. She felt strongly that marriage was only to be between a man and a woman, and so she wrote an article about that belief. Even though she didn’t express any hostility toward any LGBT group or person, she was labeled a “bigot” and a “homophobe” by those who read her article.
Jason came out as gay in college, but still wanted to live his Christian religion. He met with his religious leaders, and they helped him to find ways to live within the church’s standards while accepting his homosexuality. In order to keep this balance, Jason chose to remain celibate and regularly met with his religious leaders as they supported and helped him. Other acquaintances in his gay support groups criticized him for not having “gay pride” and for living within the bounds of a narrow-minded, archaic religion.
Stephanie’s sister, Emma, was an active feminist. She marched on Washington and wore the pink hat to protest chauvinism. Emma wanted to make sure the world would be fair for her and her future daughters, because she felt it wasn’t yet. Stephanie, on the other hand, thought the march was unnecessary. She felt she was well-respected and didn’t need to be feminist to fulfill her potential as a woman. Both sisters thought the other was stupid for her beliefs, and the arguments turned into a bitter silence not long after the march.
These are four fictional stories drawn from the experiences of those I know and the stories I’ve seen on social media. They show the disparity between the idea and the person. You may think gay marriage is morally wrong, but that doesn’t mean calling a gay person a derogatory name is in any way acceptable. You may believe that women and minorities are oppressed and that men need to give them more rights, but that doesn’t mean you can insult those women who don’t agree with you or those men who are just trying to be nice by getting the door for you.
One of the most basic truths that is being lost in the world right now is that there are rights and wrongs. There is a moral black and white, yes and no, and not just within the bounds of religion. For a society to function, there must be moral absolutes. However, just because something is wrong doesn’t mean the person is bad. Every child experiments with swearing, and the best parents correct the child and continue to love them just as much.
In our situations, we are rarely in a place to judge or correct. Just because you don’t believe in gay marriage doesn’t mean you have to inform your friend who just came out that he’s going to hell. Just because you think Trump is an immature idiot doesn’t mean that you can tell your friend who voted for him that the country’s going to fail and it’s his fault. You don’t know what your gay friend is feeling. You don’t know why your friend felt like he should vote for Trump. You love the person, even if you don’t support the action.
Mahatma Gandhi is quoted as saying, “Hate the sin, love the sinner.” I believe that goes for any believe that is contrary to our own: We don’t have to agree or even support an action or lifestyle to love the person doing or living it. You can actively stand up for your beliefs without tearing down or insulting those who believe otherwise. Be brave, be bold, be straightforward, but don’t be rude.
Stay friends with Tyler. Read Amy’s article with an open mind. Support Jason’s lifestyle choices. Love both Emma and Stephanie equally. You never know what someone is going through or what someone is thinking. You are never in a place to judge the person, only to love them. That will make the world kinder, communication easier, and the sharing of ideas a pleasant experience instead of a harsh one.
There are always the women in your neighborhood who make motherhood look like sunshine
and roses. They always have their hair long and curly and their make-up perfect, while their
children are perfectly behaved music prodigies and super athletes. You just know that she
has a four-course meal prepared in her sparkling kitchen for her husband when he comes home,
then they make passionate love for hours once the kids are in bed.
Then there’s mothers like me: My hair is usually two-days unwashed and pulled up into a messy
bun on top of my head, I hardly ever wear make-up, and I’m in my pajamas for days at a time
without changing. My baby cries, has really nasty poop brought on by his anti-reflux medicine
(which doesn’t always work), and likes to be held all the time. My husband comes home, and I
practically throw the baby at him so I can use the bathroom before I make hashbrowns and eggs
for the third day in a row. Once the baby is finally asleep I collapse and ignore his subtle hints
that he would like to “do it” tonight, but instead cuddle up next to him and fall right to sleep.
Not every day is like that, but enough of them that I would not define motherhood as “sunshine
and roses”. In the same way, that “perfect” mother in your neighborhood has bad days, too; you’re
just not around to see them.
Some of the hardest parts of motherhood are also the best parts. My husband is always telling me
to “look at the bright side”, which just tends to make me angry when he says it, but he has a point.
Every scream means your baby is alive. Every poopy diaper means his digestive system is working.
Every quick, un-elaborate meal is food on the table. There’s a quote from the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban that describes this well: “Happiness can be found even in the
darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.” So here’s me, turning on the light.
My house is a pig sty. At least I have a house. A place to call home, where I can be happy and safe
with my family.
My baby won’t stop screaming unless I hold him constantly. I worry that I’ve spoiled my baby
by holding him too much, but I keep being told to enjoy this, because I’ll be too busy to do this
with any future children. A baby that needs holding is a perfect excuse to snuggle and binge-watch
Netflix with no guilt. Even if it starts out annoying because I can’t do all the things on my to-do list,
I come to love those moments watching him sleep, or smile, or even cry, because if I’m honest I
always think he’s cute.
It’s harder to find time for sex. This means that any time we do find for it is used well. It’s become
something more special because it is less commonplace. I wouldn’t say that our sex life has suffered
because of the baby, but it is now an infrequent treat. We find other ways to stay close physically —
snuggling at bedtime is an especial favorite.
I regularly get spit up in my hair and all over my clothes. It’s so gross. It really is. But
sometimes it’s the only motivation I have to change out of my pj’s. It also is a great excuse to take a nice, long shower after my husband gets home instead of taking a short one during one of the baby’s daytime naps.
Breastfeeding is time-consuming, and gums are not soft when the baby bites. I hated
breastfeeding at first. It took our son a while to figure out how to do it, and so the first few weeks
of practice were very painful. But now it’s a wonderful bonding time for me and the baby. Not
every time, but multiple feedings a day I find myself overwhelmed by how much I love my little
baby. The oxytocin released from nursing may have something to do with it, but I’m not
complaining. It’s a wonderful feeling being so close to my baby and knowing that he needs and
loves me.
The thing I’m realizing is that the good moments are more than just the “silver lining” to
motherhood. Having a baby is hard, but it is good. It is innately good. There are bad days, and bad
parts to every day, but there is so much more than just silver lining in motherhood. Motherhood is
all gold.
These hashtags are filling up social media right now. Especially with the potential appointment of Neil Gorsuch (a very vocal pro-life activist) to the Supreme Court, the internet is full of the republicans rejoicing and the democrats dissenting.
I have been doing a lot of research, trying to understand both sides of the issue. I am very, very pro-life (or anti-abortion, if you like — the term doesn’t offend me), but I wanted to understand why so many people are pro-choice/pro-abortion. I then worked on writing my responses to them.
There are lots of assumptions and fudged facts on both sides, but with some digging the truth can come out. The other difficulty is that sometimes that answers have room for interpretation or opinion, such as to the question of when life begins. I have tried to be as factual and distant as I can as I respond to these different arguments, but I cannot help but be biased because I have a three-month-old son who is the light of my life (my husband calls him our little photon), and the idea of him being killed in the womb makes me cry without hesitation.
I invite comments, responses to my arguments, and clarifications if anything I wrote doesn’t make sense to you. References and additional links are provided at the end with corresponding numbers. This war of words is all over the internet, and maybe this article will help somebody think a little more about choosing life.
1. Fetuses aren’t alive until later in pregnancy, so early-term abortions aren’t killing anything.
→Miriam-Webster Dictionary’s definition of “life” is an “organismic state characterized by capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction.” A baby in the womb exhibits all these qualities. From the moment of conception, the fertilized oocyte (egg) is metabolizing, giving it energy to grow, until it is a fetus and reacts to stimuli in its small uterus world, and begins its process of preparing to reproduce, which won’t be completed for another 10–16 years (adolescence).
2. Fetuses aren’t considered people until they are viable or born.
→Sea turtle eggs are protected by both federal and state laws. Any destruction to these embryos can result in high fines or even jail time! Yet, human embryos (what we call babies in the earliest stages of pregnancy) are legal to kill in awful ways. Here are illustrations of both sea turtle and human embryos:
Both are supported by an organ to feed them (placenta/yolk sac). Both are soft and vulnerable. Neither could survive outside their current environment. My question is: Why is a sea turtle a precious sea turtle at this stage, and a human is a disposable fetus?
3. A fetus’s right to life doesn’t mean it has the right to use a woman’s body; my body, my choice.
→The thing is, a fetus is not part of a mother’s body. It is no more part of her body than you are part of your car when you drive it. It is essential for your survival and protection as you travel at those speeds, but when you reach your destination you get out and leave the car as it was.
A common misconception is that the placenta connects the fetus directly to the mother. This is not exactly true; half of the placenta is made by the mother’s tissues, but the other half is made by the blastocyst (name for an early, early stage of baby development) and then connects to the half made by the mother. The placenta acts as a barrier as well as a carrier: Nutrients travel from the mother to the fetus, but the mother’s blood and the baby’s blood never mix. They are two completely separate beings with two separate bodies.
Pro-life activists aren’t trying to control your body; they are trying to protect the bodies of innocent babies.
4. Babies are difficult and expensive; abortion means less children born to parents that can’t handle them.
→People in life seek to get rich so they can buy nicer things, which are more expensive. If we’re assigning worth to things based on how expensive they are, then children are the most precious things in the world!
In all seriousness, human life is precious. The Founding Fathers of the United States said in the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” The first unalienable right listed is that of life. Every fetus deserves life.
As for expenses that wear on families, there are so many government programs to help families that are struggling. There are also nonprofit programs and thrift shops to help. With those aids, children born into less than ideal circumstances have the chance to live and hopefully improve those circumstances for their children. In the worst case scenarios, adoption may prove to be a viable option for decreasing financial pressure of children while still respecting their right to life.
5. The adoption system is already too full and slow, so abortion is a more realistic and useful option.
→It’s true that the adoption system is messed up. It can cost so much money and take so long. It requires lawyers and agencies and an understanding of laws that I won’t even pretend to understand. However, abortion as an easier option means that a change to the adoption process will never happen. The fact that it is easier to kill a child than to adopt one is wrong. If we put as much effort into protesting adoption rights as we do abortion, I believe more children would live and would have the chance to be placed into loving homes.
6. Babies limit a woman’s ability to progress in her career.
→I have two responses to this argument. First: Being a stay-at-home-mom is a career. I don’t get vacations and evenings off like my husband — it is a 24/7 job that makes no money, but saves a ton of it. SAHMs also get to spend tons of time with their kids during the most developmentally vital years.
Second: You can have a career and a family. It takes work and expert juggling, but you can do it. If a career is important enough, women can make it work without needing to abort their child. Besides, if the career is lucrative enough to consider abortion, then odds are it makes enough money to pay for day care.
7. It’s just another form of birth control.
→I’m not going to enter the argument about whether birth control is moral or not. That is another conversation entirely. However, abortion is not birth control. The Miriam-Webster dictionary defines “contraception” as “deliberate prevention of conception or impregnation.” “Abortion” is defined as “the termination of a pregnancy after, accompanied by, resulting in, or closely followed by the death of the embryo or fetus.” Those terms are not synonymous, because “prevention” means before and “termination” means after. Going back to our earlier argument about embryos and fetuses being alive, “termination” means killing a living human. Birth control stops the sperm and egg from becoming one at all. Big difference.
8. Making abortion illegal doesn’t decrease the number of abortions, but instead just causes women to seek out unsafe abortions.
→Yes, that is true, but the laws that prohibit driving 100 mph on the freeway don’t seem to drastically decrease the number of people doing so. The laws are there to dissuade those on the edge from acting a certain way, to add a sense of morality to obeying the law, and to express consequences for disobeying. For example, those people who drive 100 mph on a 70 mph freeway will have a more disastrous crash if mishap were to occur than those going the speed limit. The law is there to help keep people safe. In the same way, the law to make abortion illegal would save the unborn from the abortions and the women from unsafe abortions, but if someone decides to do it on their own then the “crash” will be more disastrous.
9. Abortion saves women from the psychological damage caused by being refused an abortion.
→This argument is the one I know the least about. I am not well-versed in psychology, and the articles I read had very mixed messages. All I can say is this: An abortion is a huge, and very final, decision. There is no turning back once it’s done, and the consequences of ending a potential life are immeasurable. I feel that that should have some affect on the mental health of the woman receiving the abortion, but if the fetus is not seen as a human life I can understand why having the opportunity for freedom from that “burden” would be of greater harm than actually receiving the abortion. If we agree that fetuses are human, though, then I believe the psychological damage would be worse after having an abortion than being denied one.
10. Abortion is an effective means of population control.
→The world isn’t overpopulated. As technology and science progress we’ll be able to help the planet sustain even more people! Besides, we have a while before we even have to worry about sustainability. The problems of sustainability and distribution of resources may be solved by one of the fetuses that someone decides not to abort for the sake of population control.
11. Childbirth is much more dangerous than an abortion.
→Dangerous for who, exactly? The amount of women who die in childbirth is so much lower than the amount of children who die from abortions. It is a risk to get pregnant and have a baby (I know, because my type 1 diabetes caused an emergency c-section for me and a NICU stay for my baby), but it also brings about great potential to better the world with each child born. Each child aborted is a risk averted, and an infinite potential snuffed out.
12. Tax dollars don’t fund the abortions at Planned Parenthood.
→The taxes may not directly be put to use in funding abortions, but they are used in other ways that free up other money for the abortions. It’s the same as if your mom gave you $20 for groceries, but now you have an extra $20 to go to the movies. You may not be using the exact $20 bill your mother gave you, but that money freed up the money you used for the movie. In the same way, the government tax dollars go toward STI testing, birth control, or other preventative measures, freeing up lots of money to go toward abortions.
In fact, reports from former Planned Parenthood managers tell that abortion quotas are set and incentives given to reach them. This system of government funding everything but the abortions and the displaced money going to them instead creates a revenue from the abortions.
13. Abortion is most often used in cases of danger to the mother or baby, or in cases of rape.
→This reason is extremely overused. Less than 1% of abortions are used to save the mother’s life, and less than .5% are due to cases of rape or incest. As for the health of the baby, what does killing it accomplish? Most baby-health-related cases include early delivery or miscarriage, so abortion is not necessary. Abortion because the baby is sick just means there’s never any chance of recovery and healthy birth. The majority of abortions are because of convenience or economic reasons. This argument, while the idea is valid, is vastly exaggerated.
14. It saves parents from having to deal with children with severe disabilities such as anencephaly, down syndrome, etc.
→The percentage of children diagnosed with Trisomy 21, or Down Syndrome, who are aborted varies from 61–93% in the United States and Europe. That means more than half of these children don’t get the chance to grow, learn, or be loved. 95% of children with anencephaly (where the child is born without parts of the brain and skull) are aborted upon diagnoses. Yet there are so many stories of very successful people with Down Syndrome who change the lives of those around them, and of babies with anencephaly who only live a short while but are loved by their family forever.
The best things in life aren’t easy. The families of these children with Down Syndrome, anencephaly, and other severe disabilities are stronger and better for their struggles, and for the lives that, even for a short time, were part of theirs.
I have tried to remain logical and scientific throughout this article. I have included references and additional opinions to support my responses. Now, I am going to express my personal beliefs.
I am a Christian, and I believe that every single person is a child of God — me, you readers, the baby with anencephaly, the doctor who has performed hundreds of abortions, the mother who walks out of the clinic with a baby and the mother who leaves without one. Each and every child conceived deserves the chance to fulfill their divine potential as a son or daughter of God. Life may not be easy for them — disabilities, difficult family circumstances, adoption, or the foster care system — but at least they have a chance to take those hardships and grow from them.
Abortion takes the choices that belong to God — whether the baby lives or dies in the womb — and takes it upon ourselves. Humans are selfish and short-sighted, and it’s not always our fault, but that means that it should not be up to us to decide the fate of an innocent baby who cannot make the choice for itself.
It is our duty to protect the unborn. To be pro-life is to be pro-woman, pro-man, pro-human, and ultimately pro-choice, because you are standing up for the choices of those yet to be born.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Placenta ; the car analogy is not mine, but I heard it on social media a long time ago and was not able to find the original source.
I am currently reading C.S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters. The book is a fictional account of a correspondence between Screwtape, an "under-secretary of a department" in the devil's kingdom, and Wormwood, a junior temptor. Screwtape is giving Wormwood advice as he works to bring his "patient" to Satan. In chapter five, Screwtape warns Wormwood not to get too excited about the war in Europe that started. He says, "So do not allow any temporary excitement to distract you from the real business of undermining faith and preventing the formation of virtues." The war was a big deal, but it was more beneficial for these servants of Satan to focus on the inner virtues and faith of the individual.
Today there is what could be called a "social justice war" going on. Liberals and conservatives are at each others throats, spreading lies and slandering the other side. Everyone is angry, and the adrenaline rush they get from this "righteous anger" keeps them angry. While it is hurting the world to be fighting like this, how more is it hurting us individually? Are we so distracted by this war that we are allowing Satan to undermine our faith and prevent our forming virtues?
In Jesus's sermon on the mount, He teaches, "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?" (Matthew 7:3-4). Are we calling out the other side, telling them about the mote in their eye while we, in our own lives, are suffering from a beam in the eye? It may seem like the causes in this social justice war are the most important things, but if we are not working on our relationship with the Savior, praying and studying the scriptures daily, and increasing in charity toward others, then we are losing the real war--the war against Satan.
There is injustice in the world. There is racism, unfair wages, favoritism, unfair biases, and undo violence toward others. However, we cannot help fix the bad in the world before we fix the bad in ourselves. As I was reminded by a recent Facebook post, in the event of an airplane crash we need to put our own oxygen mask on before assisting others.
Back to The Screwtape Letters: In that same chapter, Screwtape says, "Give me without fail in your next letter a full account of the patient's reactions to the war, so that we can consider whether you are likely to do more good by making him an extreme patriot or an ardent pacifist." This statement presents two more ways Satan can try to bring us down: By making us "an extreme patriot or an ardent pacifist."
First, I will address the idea of being a patriot. I am all for passion; if you've ever met my husband, you know that passionate discussions fill most of our car rides. He is passionate about everything from his faith to his jokes about invading Canada to his conviction when saying the phrase "God bless the USA." The problem with passion and patriotism comes when we let zealousness for "the cause" overcome our desires for kindness, understanding, and civility. In a way, extreme patriotism can shift us from worshiping God to worshiping the cause.
Today, many people have left their faith to join "the religion of social justice." All their energy and thoughts go into fighting for the cause on social media and hating the other side. Jesus said, "For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another" (3 Nephi 11:29). Satan wants us to fight, because Jesus says, "if ye are not one ye are not mine" (Doctrine and Covenants 38:27), and the devil wants us to be anything but the Lord's.
On the other hand, Satan is also happy with us being ardent pacifists. In the Book of Mormon, Captain Moroni actively fights to defend "the cause of Christians" (Alma 48:10) by encouraging righteousness and physically preparing to defend their city. Mormon, the man who abridged the Book of Mormon, says of Moroni: "...this was the faith of Moroni, and his heart did glory in it; not in the shedding of blood but in doing good, in preserving his people, yea, in keeping the commandments of God, yea, and resisting iniquity. Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men" (Alma 48:16-17).
Satan does not want lose his power over our hearts, so he does not want us to be like Moroni. He does this by encouraging pacifism, the idea that "it doesn't hurt me, so why bother fighting it?" And it's true: You may never have been attacked because of your race, or neither you nor your children were killed by abortion, so it's not your problem, right? Wrong! We are taught to "mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort" (Mosiah 18:9), which includes standing up for their rights and helping to protect the defenseless. If our lives are so good, then we need to raise awareness for and give aid to those who's lives are less so.
So where's the balance? How do we help others while avoiding contention? That, I believe, is a personal decision, but I do have some suggestions. First, we can be kind. We can be bold and direct while avoiding a direct insults of those who believe opposing views. Using kind words and pictures goes a long way. Second, try to understand others. Even if you don't agree, show understanding as you express your views. Acknowledge the struggles and ideas that led to having opposing views. Third, don't just fight the bad, but add good to the world. It is in loving and serving others that we will make the most difference, much more than fighting against the bad that we see in the world.
Our ultimate goal is to return to live with God, and to help our family and friends return to Him, too. As we work on improving ourselves, avoiding contention, and trying to make the world a better place, we can completely thwart whatever Screwtape and Wormwoods there are trying to drag us down and successfully become more like Christ. That will make us happy, and the world better.
00:00-- The baby starts making noises. He stops and I'm almost back asleep when he starts crying because he's hungry. I go into the other room to get him his heart medicine before he eats, and his crying intensifies steadily until I put the medicine in his mouth, then put his mouth to my breast so he can eat. He falls asleep while eating, so I carefully wrap him up and put him back in his crib. As soon as I lay down he starts crying again, realizing he wasn't full. I grab the nursing pillow and burp clothes and get him set up again. After just a few minutes he falls asleep while eating again and I go through the process of putting him in bed again. He starts to cry again as soon as I lay him down, so I put his pacifier in his mouth and put him in bed with me. I know it's supposed to be dangerous, but I've done this enough to know I won't roll over on him, and it's the only way I'll get him to sleep. I lay down next to him, make sure the burp cloth is securely under his head so he doesn't spit up on my sheets, put my arm gently over him, reach my feet out to cuddle with my somehow still-sleeping husband, and finally go back to sleep.
05:00-- I wake up to the baby beginning to cry. When I look at my phone I see I miraculously got a whole five hours of sleep, but by that point the baby is crying loudly and is apparently starving and wasting away. I quickly get set up and feed him again, wincing as he bites down with his gums. This time he finishes eating before he falls asleep, but now is starting to stink. I carry him to the changing table and change his poopy diaper by the soft blue glow of the night light. Changing his diaper woke him up more than I wanted, and as I wrap him up in his blanket he is looking all around, eyes wide and mouth in a "o" shape, just cute as can be. Still, I can't quite muster a smile because I'm far too tired. I skip the attempt to get him to sleep in the crib and just lay him down next to me. I cuddle him close to keep him from wiggling, and we both fall asleep quickly.
07:30-- The baby wakes up hungry again, and this time doesn't want to go back to sleep. I try snuggling with him while laying down in bed, but he cries and complains until I bring him out to the living room. We sit in the recliner and I rock back and forth, the baby propped up against my shoulder. I hope he'll rest his head on my shoulder and fall asleep, but instead he uses his unusually strong neck muscles and looks all around the room, which I have dark to try to keep him asleep. My husband gets up and gets ready, and as he leaves for work at 08:00 the baby and I are still rocking in the recliner, rocking and snuggling.
08:30-- I finally admit he's not going to sleep, so I put him in the swing, turn on the music, and attempt to get breakfast. I'm halfway through my bowl of rice crispies when he starts crying again. I shovel in a few more bites before he begins crying in earnest, and so I pick him up, hold him in one arm, and finish eating as best I can.
09:30-- I feed the baby again, adding another dose of heart medicine before feeding. I watch an episode of "Bones" on Netflix as he eats. This time he falls asleep, so I put him in the bedroom in his bassinet all snuggled up and set up the baby monitor. I bring my half of the monitor with me to the bathroom, where I finally get to pee and take a shower. I try to shower quickly, knowing the baby doesn't like sleeping in his crib as much as he does while being held, but the warm water is so relaxing and nice that I hear him crying over the monitor when I'm halfway through conditioning my hair. I hurry as fast as I can, wrap up in a towel and hurry into the bedroom, where he is near screaming his disapproval of being left in his crib so long. I pick him up, my dripping hair getting his pajamas all wet. When he's finally calm I set him down, quickly get dressed in jeans and a loose t-shirt, and pick him up again. We go into the living room, sit back in the recliner, and he goes back to sleep as I start yet another episode of "Bones".
10:00-- He's finally deeply asleep enough that I can lay him down, get more food, and load the dishwasher.
12:00-- Feed the baby again. Watch more "Bones". Put him in the swing when he falls asleep and throw a load of laundry in.
12:30-- When I decide I want lunch, the baby wakes up screaming. He fell asleep during his last feeding and I didn't really burp him, and it seems to have caught up with us. I hug him and pat his back until I get a good burp and a good amount of spit up on my shirt. He is still in pain, so I give him some Mylicon drops and rub some diluted peppermint oil on his tummy. He seems to feel better, but he spits up four more times before falling back asleep. I make a mental note to ask the doctor about reflux the next time the baby has an appointment. I call my mom as I cuddle the baby, desperate for adult conversation outside of Facebook, and she talks to me for a few minutes until the obligations of her own life cause our conversation to end.
16:30-- I have fed the baby two more times and have spent hours holding him as he fusses or sleeps, but won't sleep in his crib. During the in-between times I've eaten a popsicle and some tortilla chips and have thought about dinner, but I've realized that dinner isn't happening tonight. Thank goodness my husband brought home dinosaur chicken nuggets and frozen burritos yesterday. I throw some in the oven, then rush back to pick up the baby who is fussing again. Maybe I need to try not eating dairy for a day or two and see if that helps his tummy.
17:00-- My husband comes home. As soon as he's in the door I give him a kiss, ask about his day, and hand him the baby because I've been needing to use the bathroom nearly an hour but haven't had time. During dinner we watch a "Parks and Recreation" to unwind, but after dinner we go back to our work. I hold the baby and feed him again, while my husband studies for a test he has next week. I get to talk to him for a while, babbling on about my "Bones" episodes, funny things I saw on Facebook, and what happened with the baby, until I realize he really needs to study and so I go back to playing with the baby, who is wide awake and enjoying me singing "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam" and "Old McDonald Had a Farm" while I help him dance. At least I think he's enjoying it, because at two months I don't get a lot of response from him.
22:00-- The baby has eaten and fallen asleep, and I tell my husband I'm going to bed, too. He shuts his computer, reads scriptures and prays with me, then gives me a big kiss before I go back to bed and he keeps studying.
23:45-- The baby wakes up to eat. It hasn't been a full two hours, but my grumpy, sleepy mind says, "What the --" (like I said, grumpy) and I get up, get his heart meds, and start the cycle over again.
