05:00-- I wake up to the baby beginning to cry. When I look at my phone I see I miraculously got a whole five hours of sleep, but by that point the baby is crying loudly and is apparently starving and wasting away. I quickly get set up and feed him again, wincing as he bites down with his gums. This time he finishes eating before he falls asleep, but now is starting to stink. I carry him to the changing table and change his poopy diaper by the soft blue glow of the night light. Changing his diaper woke him up more than I wanted, and as I wrap him up in his blanket he is looking all around, eyes wide and mouth in a "o" shape, just cute as can be. Still, I can't quite muster a smile because I'm far too tired. I skip the attempt to get him to sleep in the crib and just lay him down next to me. I cuddle him close to keep him from wiggling, and we both fall asleep quickly.
07:30-- The baby wakes up hungry again, and this time doesn't want to go back to sleep. I try snuggling with him while laying down in bed, but he cries and complains until I bring him out to the living room. We sit in the recliner and I rock back and forth, the baby propped up against my shoulder. I hope he'll rest his head on my shoulder and fall asleep, but instead he uses his unusually strong neck muscles and looks all around the room, which I have dark to try to keep him asleep. My husband gets up and gets ready, and as he leaves for work at 08:00 the baby and I are still rocking in the recliner, rocking and snuggling.
08:30-- I finally admit he's not going to sleep, so I put him in the swing, turn on the music, and attempt to get breakfast. I'm halfway through my bowl of rice crispies when he starts crying again. I shovel in a few more bites before he begins crying in earnest, and so I pick him up, hold him in one arm, and finish eating as best I can.
09:30-- I feed the baby again, adding another dose of heart medicine before feeding. I watch an episode of "Bones" on Netflix as he eats. This time he falls asleep, so I put him in the bedroom in his bassinet all snuggled up and set up the baby monitor. I bring my half of the monitor with me to the bathroom, where I finally get to pee and take a shower. I try to shower quickly, knowing the baby doesn't like sleeping in his crib as much as he does while being held, but the warm water is so relaxing and nice that I hear him crying over the monitor when I'm halfway through conditioning my hair. I hurry as fast as I can, wrap up in a towel and hurry into the bedroom, where he is near screaming his disapproval of being left in his crib so long. I pick him up, my dripping hair getting his pajamas all wet. When he's finally calm I set him down, quickly get dressed in jeans and a loose t-shirt, and pick him up again. We go into the living room, sit back in the recliner, and he goes back to sleep as I start yet another episode of "Bones".
10:00-- He's finally deeply asleep enough that I can lay him down, get more food, and load the dishwasher.
12:00-- Feed the baby again. Watch more "Bones". Put him in the swing when he falls asleep and throw a load of laundry in.
12:30-- When I decide I want lunch, the baby wakes up screaming. He fell asleep during his last feeding and I didn't really burp him, and it seems to have caught up with us. I hug him and pat his back until I get a good burp and a good amount of spit up on my shirt. He is still in pain, so I give him some Mylicon drops and rub some diluted peppermint oil on his tummy. He seems to feel better, but he spits up four more times before falling back asleep. I make a mental note to ask the doctor about reflux the next time the baby has an appointment. I call my mom as I cuddle the baby, desperate for adult conversation outside of Facebook, and she talks to me for a few minutes until the obligations of her own life cause our conversation to end.
16:30-- I have fed the baby two more times and have spent hours holding him as he fusses or sleeps, but won't sleep in his crib. During the in-between times I've eaten a popsicle and some tortilla chips and have thought about dinner, but I've realized that dinner isn't happening tonight. Thank goodness my husband brought home dinosaur chicken nuggets and frozen burritos yesterday. I throw some in the oven, then rush back to pick up the baby who is fussing again. Maybe I need to try not eating dairy for a day or two and see if that helps his tummy.
17:00-- My husband comes home. As soon as he's in the door I give him a kiss, ask about his day, and hand him the baby because I've been needing to use the bathroom nearly an hour but haven't had time. During dinner we watch a "Parks and Recreation" to unwind, but after dinner we go back to our work. I hold the baby and feed him again, while my husband studies for a test he has next week. I get to talk to him for a while, babbling on about my "Bones" episodes, funny things I saw on Facebook, and what happened with the baby, until I realize he really needs to study and so I go back to playing with the baby, who is wide awake and enjoying me singing "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam" and "Old McDonald Had a Farm" while I help him dance. At least I think he's enjoying it, because at two months I don't get a lot of response from him.
22:00-- The baby has eaten and fallen asleep, and I tell my husband I'm going to bed, too. He shuts his computer, reads scriptures and prays with me, then gives me a big kiss before I go back to bed and he keeps studying.
23:45-- The baby wakes up to eat. It hasn't been a full two hours, but my grumpy, sleepy mind says, "What the --" (like I said, grumpy) and I get up, get his heart meds, and start the cycle over again.
I promise it gets easier as your child gets older, and these difficult sleepless nights will someday be no more than a hazy memory. It is too bad your husband doesn't help out more. When my first was born my husband was not only working full-time but also going to school full-time, despite that he still helped me every night. It was a great bonding experience, not only as husband and wife, but as new parents. You'll find what works best for you, and someday you may even miss the long sleepless nights as your child gets older.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to know that someday I might miss the sleepless nights. :)
DeleteAlso, I didn't mean to make it sound like my husband doesn't help. Since I'm nursing he can't feed the baby, and after he gets home from work he will take the baby as much as I need him to to shower, clean, or just take a rest. He is especially helpful on days when the baby isn't feeling well and is fussy the whole day. I just described a harder day, when my husband is busier taking care of me in different ways, like working and doing school.