In between conference sessions today, Elder Robert D. Hales, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (just like the one Christ called after His resurrection) passed away. I cried, remembering times he has taught and inspired me in the past, and realizing I would not have any more of his talks to look forward to. I also remembered his personality, his quiet kindness and passion as he testified of his Savior, of the prophet Joseph Smith, and of the Book of Mormon. His talks were always uplifting, and yet always convinced me to be better than I had been.
In my casual perusal of social media after conference, I found an article about the passing of Elder Hales on a page many of my friends follow. While the article was kind and respectful, the comments were horrible. People called him a bigot, said he was just another stuck-up white man ruling over church members, and mocked his beliefs. They that he has shown hate toward gay people; one person even said "A person who helps stall the forward motion of social justice, no respect is deserved."
As I read these, I couldn't help but think that a man like Elder Hales, who has taught to love others as the Savior does, to stand firm to our testimonies without insulting or mistreating others (including those in the gay community), does not deserved to be insulted and disrespected like this, in life or death! But then, I couldn't help but think of a verse from the Bible:
"He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not." (Isaiah 53:3)
If we truly want to be disciples of Christ, it makes sense that we would be treated similar to how he was treated. And Elder Hales was one of the most Christlike men I have ever learned from, so it makes sense that he is also "despised and rejected of men" and that they "[esteem] him not."
The purpose of this life is to prepare to meet God (Alma 34:32) by learning from, and working to become like, His son. We can see the standards of the gospel and the standards of the world rapidly diverging, and it is becoming increasingly hard to be popular while standing with the gospel, and even harder to remain righteous while following the world. We have to be comfortable with the fact that becoming like Christ won't be comfortable, and most likely will include being rejected, reviled, and insulted. But by standing with Christ, it will be for us as it was for the prophet Elisha: "Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them" (see 2 Kings 6).
As we begin or continue our journey to becoming disciples of Christ, one of the most difficult things we will have to face will be to "love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you" (3 Nephi 12:44, see also Matthew 5:44). Christ teaches us that we must always retaliate with love and humility. It is part of human nature, our "fight or flight" response, to want to hit back when we are hit, literally or figuratively. In His sermon on the mount, Christ taught, "whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also" (Matt 5:39).
Elder Hales is no longer here to "turn the other cheek", but I know that if he were, he would respond to those insults and accusations with nothing but love.
An important part of love, as I have been taught by my husband, is not to ignore mistakes or weaknesses in those we love. I'm not saying make a list or choose to be angry (both of those are un-Christlike and are bad for any relationship), but instead to help those we love if we see that they are doing something that is hurting them. My husband has pointed out that I am grumpier on days when I watch too much Netflix, and we have worked together to find ways to help me be happier. If I had said no, I won't give it up, he would have let me continue without pushing it; but because he loves me he brought it up, and because I love him I listened. I am learning to do the same to him, and hopefully I will love our children the same way.
What I am trying to illustrate is this: Having Christlike love does not just include ignoring mean comments and turning the other cheek. It means being like Christ also in the way that He stood by truth and proclaimed it, even when it was unpopular or ill-received.
I see the Apostles do this, too. Elder Dallin H. Oaks yesterday proclaimed that our standards and doctrines regarding to the law of chastity (especially regarding co-habitation before marriage and homosexuality) will not change. Within hours there were multiple articles from multiple sources saying that "Mormon opposition to gay marriage will never end." Comments showed that many people think this means we don't believe in loving those in the LGBT community. This is not true! Elder Oaks even said in his talk that while we should not allow the world and it's vices in us or our homes, that does not mean we cannot love, support, and befriend those with different beliefs, including those who support or identify with the LGBT community.
To truly be like Christ, to love like Him, to be His disciple like Elder Hales exemplified, we must love the Lord and keep His commandments, which includes loving others. We must serve, be kind to, pray for, and befriend those who both agree and disagree with us. We must also be unwavering in our devotion to Christ and His commandments, and we must stand unashamed for our standards. We must turn the other cheek and love those who insult, slander, and disrespect us. We must speak kindly, serve everyone, and try our best to be a light to the world.
Elder Hales was a light to the world. He exemplified a Christlike life, and I am grateful for his example. I will always honor his memory and cherish the many years I had the opportunity to listen to him teach. And I will try to be more like him by loving those that may insult me and my faith, and by following his example I will be following my Savior's.
