There are always the women in your neighborhood who make motherhood look like sunshine
and roses. They always have their hair long and curly and their make-up perfect, while their
children are perfectly behaved music prodigies and super athletes. You just know that she
has a four-course meal prepared in her sparkling kitchen for her husband when he comes home,
then they make passionate love for hours once the kids are in bed.
and roses. They always have their hair long and curly and their make-up perfect, while their
children are perfectly behaved music prodigies and super athletes. You just know that she
has a four-course meal prepared in her sparkling kitchen for her husband when he comes home,
then they make passionate love for hours once the kids are in bed.
Then there’s mothers like me: My hair is usually two-days unwashed and pulled up into a messy
bun on top of my head, I hardly ever wear make-up, and I’m in my pajamas for days at a time
without changing. My baby cries, has really nasty poop brought on by his anti-reflux medicine
(which doesn’t always work), and likes to be held all the time. My husband comes home, and I
practically throw the baby at him so I can use the bathroom before I make hashbrowns and eggs
for the third day in a row. Once the baby is finally asleep I collapse and ignore his subtle hints
that he would like to “do it” tonight, but instead cuddle up next to him and fall right to sleep.
bun on top of my head, I hardly ever wear make-up, and I’m in my pajamas for days at a time
without changing. My baby cries, has really nasty poop brought on by his anti-reflux medicine
(which doesn’t always work), and likes to be held all the time. My husband comes home, and I
practically throw the baby at him so I can use the bathroom before I make hashbrowns and eggs
for the third day in a row. Once the baby is finally asleep I collapse and ignore his subtle hints
that he would like to “do it” tonight, but instead cuddle up next to him and fall right to sleep.
Not every day is like that, but enough of them that I would not define motherhood as “sunshine
and roses”. In the same way, that “perfect” mother in your neighborhood has bad days, too; you’re
just not around to see them.
and roses”. In the same way, that “perfect” mother in your neighborhood has bad days, too; you’re
just not around to see them.
Some of the hardest parts of motherhood are also the best parts. My husband is always telling me
to “look at the bright side”, which just tends to make me angry when he says it, but he has a point.
Every scream means your baby is alive. Every poopy diaper means his digestive system is working.
Every quick, un-elaborate meal is food on the table. There’s a quote from the movie Harry Potter
and the Prisoner of Azkaban that describes this well: “Happiness can be found even in the
darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.” So here’s me, turning on the light.
to “look at the bright side”, which just tends to make me angry when he says it, but he has a point.
Every scream means your baby is alive. Every poopy diaper means his digestive system is working.
Every quick, un-elaborate meal is food on the table. There’s a quote from the movie Harry Potter
and the Prisoner of Azkaban that describes this well: “Happiness can be found even in the
darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.” So here’s me, turning on the light.
My house is a pig sty. At least I have a house. A place to call home, where I can be happy and safe
with my family.
with my family.
My baby won’t stop screaming unless I hold him constantly. I worry that I’ve spoiled my baby
by holding him too much, but I keep being told to enjoy this, because I’ll be too busy to do this
with any future children. A baby that needs holding is a perfect excuse to snuggle and binge-watch
Netflix with no guilt. Even if it starts out annoying because I can’t do all the things on my to-do list,
I come to love those moments watching him sleep, or smile, or even cry, because if I’m honest I
always think he’s cute.
by holding him too much, but I keep being told to enjoy this, because I’ll be too busy to do this
with any future children. A baby that needs holding is a perfect excuse to snuggle and binge-watch
Netflix with no guilt. Even if it starts out annoying because I can’t do all the things on my to-do list,
I come to love those moments watching him sleep, or smile, or even cry, because if I’m honest I
always think he’s cute.
It’s harder to find time for sex. This means that any time we do find for it is used well. It’s become
something more special because it is less commonplace. I wouldn’t say that our sex life has suffered
because of the baby, but it is now an infrequent treat. We find other ways to stay close physically —
snuggling at bedtime is an especial favorite.
something more special because it is less commonplace. I wouldn’t say that our sex life has suffered
because of the baby, but it is now an infrequent treat. We find other ways to stay close physically —
snuggling at bedtime is an especial favorite.
I regularly get spit up in my hair and all over my clothes. It’s so gross. It really is. But
sometimes it’s the only motivation I have to change out of my pj’s. It also is a great excuse to
take a nice, long shower after my husband gets home instead of taking a short one during one of
the baby’s daytime naps.
sometimes it’s the only motivation I have to change out of my pj’s. It also is a great excuse to
take a nice, long shower after my husband gets home instead of taking a short one during one of
the baby’s daytime naps.
Breastfeeding is time-consuming, and gums are not soft when the baby bites. I hated
breastfeeding at first. It took our son a while to figure out how to do it, and so the first few weeks
of practice were very painful. But now it’s a wonderful bonding time for me and the baby. Not
every time, but multiple feedings a day I find myself overwhelmed by how much I love my little
baby. The oxytocin released from nursing may have something to do with it, but I’m not
complaining. It’s a wonderful feeling being so close to my baby and knowing that he needs and
loves me.
breastfeeding at first. It took our son a while to figure out how to do it, and so the first few weeks
of practice were very painful. But now it’s a wonderful bonding time for me and the baby. Not
every time, but multiple feedings a day I find myself overwhelmed by how much I love my little
baby. The oxytocin released from nursing may have something to do with it, but I’m not
complaining. It’s a wonderful feeling being so close to my baby and knowing that he needs and
loves me.
The thing I’m realizing is that the good moments are more than just the “silver lining” to
motherhood. Having a baby is hard, but it is good. It is innately good. There are bad days, and bad
parts to every day, but there is so much more than just silver lining in motherhood. Motherhood is
all gold.
motherhood. Having a baby is hard, but it is good. It is innately good. There are bad days, and bad
parts to every day, but there is so much more than just silver lining in motherhood. Motherhood is
all gold.
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