Turn the Other Cheek: A Tribute to Robert D. Hales

I finished listening to the 187th Semiannual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints just about an hour ago. I was uplifted by the Spirit of God as I heard messages of peace, hope, repentance, and most of all Jesus Christ taught by His ordained Apostles, teachers, and ministers. Among the speakers were multiple women, men of European and South American origin, and people of all sorts of different occupations, family situations, cultures, and backgrounds. What they all had in common was a love of Jesus Christ, and a commitment to serving Him and serving those in His church.

In between conference sessions today, Elder Robert D. Hales, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (just like the one Christ called after His resurrection) passed away. I cried, remembering times he has taught and inspired me in the past, and realizing I would not have any more of his talks to look forward to. I also remembered his personality, his quiet kindness and passion as he testified of his Savior, of the prophet Joseph Smith, and of the Book of Mormon. His talks were always uplifting, and yet always convinced me to be better than I had been.

In my casual perusal of social media after conference, I found an article about the passing of Elder Hales on a page many of my friends follow. While the article was kind and respectful, the comments were horrible. People called him a bigot, said he was just another stuck-up white man ruling over church members, and mocked his beliefs. They that he has shown hate toward gay people; one person even said "A person who helps stall the forward motion of social justice, no respect is deserved."

As I read these, I couldn't help but think that a man like Elder Hales, who has taught to love others as the Savior does, to stand firm to our testimonies without insulting or mistreating others (including those in the gay community), does not deserved to be insulted and disrespected like this, in life or death! But then, I couldn't help but think of a verse from the Bible:

"He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not." (Isaiah 53:3)

If we truly want to be disciples of Christ, it makes sense that we would be treated similar to how he was treated. And Elder Hales was one of the most Christlike men I have ever learned from, so it makes sense that he is also "despised and rejected of men" and that they "[esteem] him not." 

The purpose of this life is to prepare to meet God (Alma 34:32) by learning from, and working to become like, His son. We can see the standards of the gospel and the standards of the world rapidly diverging, and it is becoming increasingly hard to be popular while standing with the gospel, and even harder to remain righteous while following the world. We have to be comfortable with the fact that becoming like Christ won't be comfortable, and most likely will include being rejected, reviled, and insulted. But by standing with Christ, it will be for us as it was for the prophet Elisha: "Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them" (see 2 Kings 6). 

As we begin or continue our journey to becoming disciples of Christ, one of the most difficult things we will have to face will be to "love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you" (3 Nephi 12:44, see also Matthew 5:44). Christ teaches us that we must always retaliate with love and humility. It is part of human nature, our "fight or flight" response, to want to hit back when we are hit, literally or figuratively. In His sermon on the mount, Christ taught, "whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also" (Matt 5:39). 

Elder Hales is no longer here to "turn the other cheek", but I know that if he were, he would respond to those insults and accusations with nothing but love. 

An important part of love, as I have been taught by my husband, is not to ignore mistakes or weaknesses in those we love. I'm not saying make a list or choose to be angry (both of those are un-Christlike and are bad for any relationship), but instead to help those we love if we see that they are doing something that is hurting them. My husband has pointed out that I am grumpier on days when I watch too much Netflix, and we have worked together to find ways to help me be happier. If I had said no, I won't give it up, he would have let me continue without pushing it; but because he loves me he brought it up, and because I love him I listened. I am learning to do the same to him, and hopefully I will love our children the same way. 

What I am trying to illustrate is this: Having Christlike love does not just include ignoring mean comments and turning the other cheek. It means being like Christ also in the way that He stood by truth and proclaimed it, even when it was unpopular or ill-received. 

I see the Apostles do this, too. Elder Dallin H. Oaks yesterday proclaimed that our standards and doctrines regarding to the law of chastity (especially regarding co-habitation before marriage and homosexuality) will not change. Within hours there were multiple articles from multiple sources saying that "Mormon opposition to gay marriage will never end." Comments showed that many people think this means we don't believe in loving those in the LGBT community. This is not true! Elder Oaks even said in his talk that while we should not allow the world and it's vices in us or our homes, that does not mean we cannot love, support, and befriend those with different beliefs, including those who support or identify with the LGBT community. 

To truly be like Christ, to love like Him, to be His disciple like Elder Hales exemplified, we must love the Lord and keep His commandments, which includes loving others. We must serve, be kind to, pray for, and befriend those who both agree and disagree with us. We must also be unwavering in our devotion to Christ and His commandments, and we must stand unashamed for our standards. We must turn the other cheek and love those who insult, slander, and disrespect us. We must speak kindly, serve everyone, and try our best to be a light to the world. 

Elder Hales was a light to the world. He exemplified a Christlike life, and I am grateful for his example. I will always honor his memory and cherish the many years I had the opportunity to listen to him teach. And I will try to be more like him by loving those that may insult me and my faith, and by following his example I will be following my Savior's. 

Why I Love Being a Mormon

I love being a Mormon. This means that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Some people call us a cult, or crazy, or over-zealous, but what we really are is Christian. Just like any church there are the dedicated members, the members only in name, and the ex-members. I will be talking today of those who are dedicated, Christian and Mormon in their souls, trying to exemplify it every day.

Here are 10 reasons why I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

1. I have been taught standards to live by that help improve my quality of life. During my time as a teenager in the Church through til today, I have been taught certain standards of modesty, language, and behavior. While these standards do not determine my status as a member of the Church, they have helped me become a better person. By dressing modestly I have more respect for the body that my Heavenly Father and earthly parents have blessed me with. I have found that using curse words does not help me express myself better nor does it make me feel better. When I act unkindly toward others, even if they deserve it, the situation is made worse for both of us. The standards I have been taught since childhood help me feel and be better.

2. I know I am part of a larger whole while still embracing my unique identity. Being a daughter of God has two distinct results: I am part of the family of God, which includes all of us, and I am a unique individual with special gifts, relationships, and purpose. I understand that I am a part of a greater whole, but not a nameless, faceless drone used by the Church to push their agenda forward. I have a support system in the Church, and opportunities to both lead and follow. I am given chances to learn new skills and teach them to others. I gather my own collection of lessons, skills, interests, weaknesses, and experiences to make the one and only me. Some people think Mormons are all the same and want everyone to be like them, but that's not true at all. Culturally, Utah Mormons are more likely to share interests and skills, but go to Russia or Boston or Africa and see Mormons who share beliefs and standards but are very different, unique persons. No two Mormons are meant to be the same, just as no two people ever should be regardless of religion.

3. I have been taught skills and traits that have helped me to become a better person. In the Church, we are taught to become more like Jesus Christ by becoming more charitable, patient, humble, and diligent. So many people say the Church is a group of judgmental perfectionists, but this is not true. Members of the Church are just as human as everyone else and may be judgmental, perfectionist, rude, frightened, or any other human emotion. That does not mean the Church teaches us to be that way, or that most members are. We are imperfect people striving to become more like Christ. I try every day to be better, kinder, and more like Him, but I still have so far to go. Part of being a Mormon is trying to improve and taking the little victories that come as I try to be better.

4. There is never a point of no return. Repentance is available and necessary for everyone. Whether it's because you swore at your husband or because you cheated on him, you need to repent. Whether you were angry at God or forgot about Him, you can repent. Whether you are wasted drunk or you wasted your time, He wants you and will help you to repent. As a Mormon, I am blessed with an understanding of the gift of second, third, and more chances. As we keep trying and keep improving, however slightly, no fall down need ever be permanent. While judgment is something hard to overcome in human nature, it has no place in the Church. We all sin and repentance is open to all. As Dieter F. Uchtdorf quoted, "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you."1 This is one stereotype that, as a Mormon, I am trying to rid from my life. And if I slip up and silently judge, I have the opportunity to repent.

5. Families are forever. This is a favorite song in the Church: "Families can be together forever through Heavenly Father's Plan. I always want to be with my own family, and the Lord has shown me how I can." 2 The concept of marriage and family has become so confusing with the new concepts of same-sex marriage and gender identity, but this teaching keeps me from becoming overwhelmed. Even if I don't understand why some people feel different ways, I know it will all work out if I follow Heavenly Father's plan for marriage and family. Even when I worry about my loved ones who aren't following the Church's counsel, I go back to my reason #4 and I am comforted. Especially as I spent time with our newborn son in the NICU, this piece of Mormon doctrine was especially comforting and essential for my growth during that trial.

6. The Church brings people together. My husband is very introverted, and having a baby has made me much less social. Still, once a week, we spend three hours at Church. I'm not going to lie, most weeks we do it out of duty, but we are still blessed with acquaintances and friends as we attend. As a youth I went on many, many dates because I made many, many guy friends at different church activities. Now, as an adult, I have been given meals and treats by others when I've needed them, I've found friends with similar interests and different stages of life that I can learn from. I have sisters assigned to me to visit and I get to work with the young women, helping them as best I can. While many days I'm too tired to socialize, the Church gives me an opportunity to get out of my circle, to bless others, and to be blessed by them.

7. We have access to continuing revelation from modern prophets. New problems and questions can be resolved, whether it's expounding scripture in light of modern events or receiving answers to brand new questions from God. Many people have problems with the "hierarchy" of the Church, but I don't see it that way at all. Think about it in a school sense: The principal has responsibility over the entire school. Department heads cover their departments. Teachers take care of their classes. It is a hierarchy to make sure everyone is taken care of, not because some people are more important than others. The way the Church is organized gives each of us access to the prophet, the spokesman for our God on earth, even though there are over 15 million members of the Church.

8. We want everyone to come to church, and to keep coming. I am currently serving as a secretary in the Young Women's organization. My job is to take attendance of both the leaders and girls who come to church each week. This isn't so we can punish those who don't come, but so we can reach out to those who are sick, or tired, or feel they are lacking testimony. Non-members are also invited and welcome, which is why each church building has the words "Visitors Welcome" on sign. Sunday dress is encouraged, but you will never be kicked out for jeans, shorts, flip flops, t shirts or tank tops. This is an area of acceptance that is difficult for some members, but that doesn't mean we kick them out either. Everyone is welcome with whatever clothes, flaws, or problems they have, and the Gospel of Jesus Christ, as taught in the Church of Jesus Christ, will help them become better in any and all areas they need help. I have read that "the Church is not a showplace for saints, but a hospital for sinners", and I agree. 3

9. The Church teaches me about Jesus Christ. While we're called "Mormons" because of our belief in The Book of Mormon, we learn about and worship Jesus Christ. The Book of Mormon has a subtitle on the cover which says, "Another Testament of Jesus Christ". We study the Book of Mormon and the Bible together to learn about Christ. Members of the congregation are asked to teach about Him from the different books and the words of living prophets (see reason #7), and those assignments can go to anyone who is willing. Everyone is given the opportunity to learn and teach, and Jesus Christ and His teachings are the center of it all. We also are regularly encouraged to study and learn about Him and our Heavenly Father at home by reading the scriptures, and the Church has made all scriptures--Bible, Book of Mormon, and modern revelation--free and accessible online, because faith in Jesus Christ shouldn't have a price tag.

10. It is a part of me. So much of who I am comes from being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It's not because I'm coerced or brainwashed, but because I truly believe what I have been taught. As I have grown I've learned that more and more of Jesus Christ's teachings have place in my everyday life. I see the guidelines and standards that the leaders of the Church encourage and see how those can help me to be a better person and to treat others better. By reading my scriptures and praying daily I find that I am happier and closer to God. While there are times when interacting with other members or taking three hours on Sunday to go to church are hard, it is always worth it in the end. Whether I am blessed during the meeting or after, God knows I am trying and He blesses me for my efforts. When I mess up, or skip, or complain, He forgives me as I repent and gives me second chances. The things I have learned by being a member of this Church have influenced me so deeply that I cannot say what I would be like without it because I honestly do not know.

I love being a Mormon. It isn't always easy, and the people are not perfect, but we are all trying and being a Mormon has made me a better person. I am better, I see the blessings from it every day, and I see how much better I need to become and how many more blessings are waiting for me.

If you are not a Mormon and would like to learn more, click here. Whether you are Mormon or not, know that I love you, and more importantly that God loves you. You are His child, you matter to Him, and your worth is infinite and beyond comprehension. I know that this is true.

And that's why I love being a Mormon.

The Debate Behind "Beauty and the Beast"

I am so excited for the new Beauty and the Beast. I love Emma Watson, I love the story and the songs, and the trailers look beautiful and artistic. However, there’s now a big to-do about an “exclusively gay moment” in the film. Some people are upset about a kids movie embracing homosexuality. Some people are upset about the negative backlash, and are excited to have homosexuality normalized in popular cinema.

In the recent movie Storks, a baby is delivered to a same-sex couple. My mom watched that movie and didn’t even notice, but my aunt with four little kids did notice, and she was upset by it. She didn’t want that normalized for her children because she believes marriage, morally, should only be between a man and a woman.

I am a devout Christian, and I believe that marriage should exclusively be between a man and a woman. In addition, I believe in loving everyone and not judging (also Christian values). Nowadays these concepts seem to be mutually exclusive, but they aren’t. We can control what we watch and what we let our children watch while loving those who make different life choices.

Homosexuality is rapidly becoming normalized in our culture, and that’s not going to change or stop anytime soon. Our homes are a different story. We control what comes in, what feelings abide there, and how we treat and talk to and about others. We can choose to not expose our children to homosexuality, but we also should choose to teach our children to love everyone, especially those who make different decisions that we may not agree with.

I know people who are in homosexual relationships, and I love them — not in spite of their relationships, but because of who they are. Their sexuality has nothing to do with how much I love them. I do not have to agree with that lifestyle, and I have every right to teach my children what I believe is right, but I do not have a right to be unkind to those who do not believe as I do. If I truly believe in Jesus Christ, I must act as He invites us to: I must love and respect everyone even as I live as He has commanded.

If you won’t watch Beauty and the Beast because of the gay parts, I respect that choice. If you want to watch it anyway, I understand that choice. If you choose to teach your children that marriage should only be between a man and a woman, I understand you, too. If you are in a homosexual relationship, I love and respect you.

It is not my place to judge. It is not your place to judge. Live what you believe, seek truth, and teach your children, but do not judge or condemn others. That is God’s job, not ours. That is the only way that we will be able to live in peace in this world with so many different opinions and lifestyles.

Celebrating Living Life

Viola Davis, in her 2017 Oscars award acceptance speech, said, “[W]e are the only profession to
celebrate what it means to live a life.” She was talking about being an actor, an artist. And I agree,
art in all its forms is important to help people understand different aspects of life, different views,
and different ways to really live. However, I do not agree that acting is the only profession
celebrating“what it means to live a life”. I believe that the epitome of celebrating living life is 
being a mother or father.

Motherhood is nearly equivalent to life. It is mothers that bring the new life of an unborn child to
completion through pregnancy and childbirth. It is mothers who produce amazing nourishment
from their breasts that fills all food groups and nutrients for their infants. It is mothers who have a 
special bond with their children, and are the first responders for nightmares, skinned knees, and 
boy/girl troubles.

Fathers give their children the means to live life. It is fathers who provide a feeling of safety and
protection. It is fathers who ensure their children have food, clothing, and shelter so the children
can really live. It is fathers who help their children stretch their limits and learn to live a little more
bravely.

Parents together give their children life at conception. Parents together teach their children how to
live and why to live. Parents together give children an environment in which to live and learn and
grow. Parents live life to the fullest by creating new life and devoting their lives to those new lives.

Thank you, artists and actors, for celebrating and teaching us about living life.

Thank you fathers for celebrating and teaching us about living life, for providing the beginnings of
life, and for continuing to provide for your families so they can live a full life.

Thank you mothers for celebrating and teaching us about life, for providing the beginnings of life,
for raising us and helping us grow both before birth and after, for using your wonderful maternal 
instincts to make life truly worth living for everyone in your family.

Sometimes the roles are reversed. Sometimes there is a parent missing. But regardless the
circumstances, I believe parenthood is the epitome of celebrating “what it means to live a life.”

The Key to Communicating Kindly

As a child, Tyler experienced sexual abuse from his mother. His father had left when he was a baby, and so he grew up fascinated by the idea of a father, inventing his own father figure in his imagination. When he reached high school, Tyler realized that he didn’t like girls but instead felt those feelings toward the other boys. When the other students found out, he was called cruel names and lost most of his friends.

Amy grew up in a highly religious household, and came to believe strongly in that religion herself. She felt strongly that marriage was only to be between a man and a woman, and so she wrote an article about that belief. Even though she didn’t express any hostility toward any LGBT group or person, she was labeled a “bigot” and a “homophobe” by those who read her article.

Jason came out as gay in college, but still wanted to live his Christian religion. He met with his religious leaders, and they helped him to find ways to live within the church’s standards while accepting his homosexuality. In order to keep this balance, Jason chose to remain celibate and regularly met with his religious leaders as they supported and helped him. Other acquaintances in his gay support groups criticized him for not having “gay pride” and for living within the bounds of a narrow-minded, archaic religion.

Stephanie’s sister, Emma, was an active feminist. She marched on Washington and wore the pink hat to protest chauvinism. Emma wanted to make sure the world would be fair for her and her future daughters, because she felt it wasn’t yet. Stephanie, on the other hand, thought the march was unnecessary. She felt she was well-respected and didn’t need to be feminist to fulfill her potential as a woman. Both sisters thought the other was stupid for her beliefs, and the arguments turned into a bitter silence not long after the march.

These are four fictional stories drawn from the experiences of those I know and the stories I’ve seen on social media. They show the disparity between the idea and the person. You may think gay marriage is morally wrong, but that doesn’t mean calling a gay person a derogatory name is in any way acceptable. You may believe that women and minorities are oppressed and that men need to give them more rights, but that doesn’t mean you can insult those women who don’t agree with you or those men who are just trying to be nice by getting the door for you.

One of the most basic truths that is being lost in the world right now is that there are rights and wrongs. There is a moral black and white, yes and no, and not just within the bounds of religion. For a society to function, there must be moral absolutes. However, just because something is wrong doesn’t mean the person is bad. Every child experiments with swearing, and the best parents correct the child and continue to love them just as much.

In our situations, we are rarely in a place to judge or correct. Just because you don’t believe in gay marriage doesn’t mean you have to inform your friend who just came out that he’s going to hell. Just because you think Trump is an immature idiot doesn’t mean that you can tell your friend who voted for him that the country’s going to fail and it’s his fault. You don’t know what your gay friend is feeling. You don’t know why your friend felt like he should vote for Trump. You love the person, even if you don’t support the action.

Mahatma Gandhi is quoted as saying, “Hate the sin, love the sinner.” I believe that goes for any believe that is contrary to our own: We don’t have to agree or even support an action or lifestyle to love the person doing or living it. You can actively stand up for your beliefs without tearing down or insulting those who believe otherwise. Be brave, be bold, be straightforward, but don’t be rude.

Stay friends with Tyler. Read Amy’s article with an open mind. Support Jason’s lifestyle choices. Love both Emma and Stephanie equally. You never know what someone is going through or what someone is thinking. You are never in a place to judge the person, only to love them. That will make the world kinder, communication easier, and the sharing of ideas a pleasant experience instead of a harsh one.

More than Just Silver Lining

There are always the women in your neighborhood who make motherhood look like sunshine
and roses. They always have their hair long and curly and their make-up perfect, while their
children are perfectly behaved music prodigies and super athletes. You just know that she
has a four-course meal prepared in her sparkling kitchen for her husband when he comes home,
then they make passionate love for hours once the kids are in bed.

Then there’s mothers like me: My hair is usually two-days unwashed and pulled up into a messy
bun on top of my head, I hardly ever wear make-up, and I’m in my pajamas for days at a time
without changing. My baby cries, has really nasty poop brought on by his anti-reflux medicine
(which doesn’t always work), and likes to be held all the time. My husband comes home, and I
practically throw the baby at him so I can use the bathroom before I make hashbrowns and eggs
for the third day in a row. Once the baby is finally asleep I collapse and ignore his subtle hints
that he would like to “do it” tonight, but instead cuddle up next to him and fall right to sleep.

Not every day is like that, but enough of them that I would not define motherhood as “sunshine
and roses”. In the same way, that “perfect” mother in your neighborhood has bad days, too; you’re
just not around to see them.

Some of the hardest parts of motherhood are also the best parts. My husband is always telling me
to “look at the bright side”, which just tends to make me angry when he says it, but he has a point.
Every scream means your baby is alive. Every poopy diaper means his digestive system is working.
Every quick, un-elaborate meal is food on the table. There’s a quote from the movie Harry Potter
 and the Prisoner of Azkaban that describes this well: “Happiness can be found even in the
darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.” So here’s me, turning on the light.

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My house is a pig sty. At least I have a house. A place to call home, where I can be happy and safe
with my family.

My baby won’t stop screaming unless I hold him constantly. I worry that I’ve spoiled my baby
by holding him too much, but I keep being told to enjoy this, because I’ll be too busy to do this
with any future children. A baby that needs holding is a perfect excuse to snuggle and binge-watch 
Netflix with no guilt. Even if it starts out annoying because I can’t do all the things on my to-do list,
I come to love those moments watching him sleep, or smile, or even cry, because if I’m honest I
always think he’s cute.

It’s harder to find time for sex. This means that any time we do find for it is used well. It’s become
something more special because it is less commonplace. I wouldn’t say that our sex life has suffered
because of the baby, but it is now an infrequent treat. We find other ways to stay close physically — 
snuggling at bedtime is an especial favorite.

I regularly get spit up in my hair and all over my clothes. It’s so gross. It really is. But
sometimes it’s the only motivation I have to change out of my pj’s. It also is a great excuse to 
take a nice, long shower after my husband gets home instead of taking a short one during one of 
the baby’s daytime naps.

Breastfeeding is time-consuming, and gums are not soft when the baby bites. I hated
breastfeeding at first. It took our son a while to figure out how to do it, and so the first few weeks
of practice were very painful. But now it’s a wonderful bonding time for me and the baby. Not
every time, but multiple feedings a day I find myself overwhelmed by how much I love my little
baby. The oxytocin released from nursing may have something to do with it, but I’m not
complaining. It’s a wonderful feeling being so close to my baby and knowing that he needs and
loves me.

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The thing I’m realizing is that the good moments are more than just the “silver lining” to
motherhood. Having a baby is hard, but it is good. It is innately good. There are bad days, and bad
parts to every day, but there is so much more than just silver lining in motherhood. Motherhood is
all gold.

What it Really Means to be Pro-Choice

#MarchForLife

#IStandWithPP

#DefundPlannedParenthood

#MyBodyMyChoice

These hashtags are filling up social media right now. Especially with the potential appointment of Neil Gorsuch (a very vocal pro-life activist) to the Supreme Court, the internet is full of the republicans rejoicing and the democrats dissenting.

I have been doing a lot of research, trying to understand both sides of the issue. I am very, very pro-life (or anti-abortion, if you like — the term doesn’t offend me), but I wanted to understand why so many people are pro-choice/pro-abortion. I then worked on writing my responses to them.

There are lots of assumptions and fudged facts on both sides, but with some digging the truth can come out. The other difficulty is that sometimes that answers have room for interpretation or opinion, such as to the question of when life begins. I have tried to be as factual and distant as I can as I respond to these different arguments, but I cannot help but be biased because I have a three-month-old son who is the light of my life (my husband calls him our little photon), and the idea of him being killed in the womb makes me cry without hesitation.

I invite comments, responses to my arguments, and clarifications if anything I wrote doesn’t make sense to you. References and additional links are provided at the end with corresponding numbers. This war of words is all over the internet, and maybe this article will help somebody think a little more about choosing life.

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1. Fetuses aren’t alive until later in pregnancy, so early-term abortions aren’t killing anything.

→Miriam-Webster Dictionary’s definition of “life” is an “organismic state characterized by capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction.” A baby in the womb exhibits all these qualities. From the moment of conception, the fertilized oocyte (egg) is metabolizing, giving it energy to grow, until it is a fetus and reacts to stimuli in its small uterus world, and begins its process of preparing to reproduce, which won’t be completed for another 10–16 years (adolescence).

2. Fetuses aren’t considered people until they are viable or born.

→Sea turtle eggs are protected by both federal and state laws. Any destruction to these embryos can result in high fines or even jail time! Yet, human embryos (what we call babies in the earliest stages of pregnancy) are legal to kill in awful ways. Here are illustrations of both sea turtle and human embryos:

Both are supported by an organ to feed them (placenta/yolk sac). Both are soft and vulnerable. Neither could survive outside their current environment. My question is: Why is a sea turtle a precious sea turtle at this stage, and a human is a disposable fetus?

3. A fetus’s right to life doesn’t mean it has the right to use a woman’s body; my body, my choice.

→The thing is, a fetus is not part of a mother’s body. It is no more part of her body than you are part of your car when you drive it. It is essential for your survival and protection as you travel at those speeds, but when you reach your destination you get out and leave the car as it was.

A common misconception is that the placenta connects the fetus directly to the mother. This is not exactly true; half of the placenta is made by the mother’s tissues, but the other half is made by the blastocyst (name for an early, early stage of baby development) and then connects to the half made by the mother. The placenta acts as a barrier as well as a carrier: Nutrients travel from the mother to the fetus, but the mother’s blood and the baby’s blood never mix. They are two completely separate beings with two separate bodies.

Pro-life activists aren’t trying to control your body; they are trying to protect the bodies of innocent babies.

4. Babies are difficult and expensive; abortion means less children born to parents that can’t handle them.

→People in life seek to get rich so they can buy nicer things, which are more expensive. If we’re assigning worth to things based on how expensive they are, then children are the most precious things in the world!

In all seriousness, human life is precious. The Founding Fathers of the United States said in the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” The first unalienable right listed is that of life. Every fetus deserves life.

As for expenses that wear on families, there are so many government programs to help families that are struggling. There are also nonprofit programs and thrift shops to help. With those aids, children born into less than ideal circumstances have the chance to live and hopefully improve those circumstances for their children. In the worst case scenarios, adoption may prove to be a viable option for decreasing financial pressure of children while still respecting their right to life.

5. The adoption system is already too full and slow, so abortion is a more realistic and useful option.

→It’s true that the adoption system is messed up. It can cost so much money and take so long. It requires lawyers and agencies and an understanding of laws that I won’t even pretend to understand. However, abortion as an easier option means that a change to the adoption process will never happen. The fact that it is easier to kill a child than to adopt one is wrong. If we put as much effort into protesting adoption rights as we do abortion, I believe more children would live and would have the chance to be placed into loving homes.

6. Babies limit a woman’s ability to progress in her career.

→I have two responses to this argument. First: Being a stay-at-home-mom is a career. I don’t get vacations and evenings off like my husband — it is a 24/7 job that makes no money, but saves a ton of it. SAHMs also get to spend tons of time with their kids during the most developmentally vital years.

Second: You can have a career and a family. It takes work and expert juggling, but you can do it. If a career is important enough, women can make it work without needing to abort their child. Besides, if the career is lucrative enough to consider abortion, then odds are it makes enough money to pay for day care.

7. It’s just another form of birth control.

→I’m not going to enter the argument about whether birth control is moral or not. That is another conversation entirely. However, abortion is not birth control. The Miriam-Webster dictionary defines “contraception” as “deliberate prevention of conception or impregnation.” “Abortion” is defined as “the termination of a pregnancy after, accompanied by, resulting in, or closely followed by the death of the embryo or fetus.” Those terms are not synonymous, because “prevention” means before and “termination” means after. Going back to our earlier argument about embryos and fetuses being alive, “termination” means killing a living human. Birth control stops the sperm and egg from becoming one at all. Big difference.

8. Making abortion illegal doesn’t decrease the number of abortions, but instead just causes women to seek out unsafe abortions.

→Yes, that is true, but the laws that prohibit driving 100 mph on the freeway don’t seem to drastically decrease the number of people doing so. The laws are there to dissuade those on the edge from acting a certain way, to add a sense of morality to obeying the law, and to express consequences for disobeying. For example, those people who drive 100 mph on a 70 mph freeway will have a more disastrous crash if mishap were to occur than those going the speed limit. The law is there to help keep people safe. In the same way, the law to make abortion illegal would save the unborn from the abortions and the women from unsafe abortions, but if someone decides to do it on their own then the “crash” will be more disastrous.

9. Abortion saves women from the psychological damage caused by being refused an abortion.

→This argument is the one I know the least about. I am not well-versed in psychology, and the articles I read had very mixed messages. All I can say is this: An abortion is a huge, and very final, decision. There is no turning back once it’s done, and the consequences of ending a potential life are immeasurable. I feel that that should have some affect on the mental health of the woman receiving the abortion, but if the fetus is not seen as a human life I can understand why having the opportunity for freedom from that “burden” would be of greater harm than actually receiving the abortion. If we agree that fetuses are human, though, then I believe the psychological damage would be worse after having an abortion than being denied one.

10. Abortion is an effective means of population control.

→The world isn’t overpopulated. As technology and science progress we’ll be able to help the planet sustain even more people! Besides, we have a while before we even have to worry about sustainability. The problems of sustainability and distribution of resources may be solved by one of the fetuses that someone decides not to abort for the sake of population control.

11. Childbirth is much more dangerous than an abortion.

→Dangerous for who, exactly? The amount of women who die in childbirth is so much lower than the amount of children who die from abortions. It is a risk to get pregnant and have a baby (I know, because my type 1 diabetes caused an emergency c-section for me and a NICU stay for my baby), but it also brings about great potential to better the world with each child born. Each child aborted is a risk averted, and an infinite potential snuffed out.

12. Tax dollars don’t fund the abortions at Planned Parenthood.

→The taxes may not directly be put to use in funding abortions, but they are used in other ways that free up other money for the abortions. It’s the same as if your mom gave you $20 for groceries, but now you have an extra $20 to go to the movies. You may not be using the exact $20 bill your mother gave you, but that money freed up the money you used for the movie. In the same way, the government tax dollars go toward STI testing, birth control, or other preventative measures, freeing up lots of money to go toward abortions.

In fact, reports from former Planned Parenthood managers tell that abortion quotas are set and incentives given to reach them. This system of government funding everything but the abortions and the displaced money going to them instead creates a revenue from the abortions.

13. Abortion is most often used in cases of danger to the mother or baby, or in cases of rape.

→This reason is extremely overused. Less than 1% of abortions are used to save the mother’s life, and less than .5% are due to cases of rape or incest. As for the health of the baby, what does killing it accomplish? Most baby-health-related cases include early delivery or miscarriage, so abortion is not necessary. Abortion because the baby is sick just means there’s never any chance of recovery and healthy birth. The majority of abortions are because of convenience or economic reasons. This argument, while the idea is valid, is vastly exaggerated.

14. It saves parents from having to deal with children with severe disabilities such as anencephaly, down syndrome, etc.

→The percentage of children diagnosed with Trisomy 21, or Down Syndrome, who are aborted varies from 61–93% in the United States and Europe. That means more than half of these children don’t get the chance to grow, learn, or be loved. 95% of children with anencephaly (where the child is born without parts of the brain and skull) are aborted upon diagnoses. Yet there are so many stories of very successful people with Down Syndrome who change the lives of those around them, and of babies with anencephaly who only live a short while but are loved by their family forever.

The best things in life aren’t easy. The families of these children with Down Syndrome, anencephaly, and other severe disabilities are stronger and better for their struggles, and for the lives that, even for a short time, were part of theirs.

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I have tried to remain logical and scientific throughout this article. I have included references and additional opinions to support my responses. Now, I am going to express my personal beliefs.

I am a Christian, and I believe that every single person is a child of God — me, you readers, the baby with anencephaly, the doctor who has performed hundreds of abortions, the mother who walks out of the clinic with a baby and the mother who leaves without one. Each and every child conceived deserves the chance to fulfill their divine potential as a son or daughter of God. Life may not be easy for them — disabilities, difficult family circumstances, adoption, or the foster care system — but at least they have a chance to take those hardships and grow from them.

Abortion takes the choices that belong to God — whether the baby lives or dies in the womb — and takes it upon ourselves. Humans are selfish and short-sighted, and it’s not always our fault, but that means that it should not be up to us to decide the fate of an innocent baby who cannot make the choice for itself.

It is our duty to protect the unborn. To be pro-life is to be pro-woman, pro-man, pro-human, and ultimately pro-choice, because you are standing up for the choices of those yet to be born.

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References:

1. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/life
2. http://thecotas.com/2012/01/sea-turtle-nests-protected-by-state-and-federal-law/ ; http://abortionprocedures.com/ ; pictures from google images
3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Placenta ; the car analogy is not mine, but I heard it on social media a long time ago and was not able to find the original source.
4. http://www.welfareinfo.org/child/ ; http://www.ushistory.org/DECLARATION/document/
5. http://www.adopt.org/ten-step-overview
6. http://www.salary.com/stay-at-home-mom-infographic/;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jamie-davis-smith/why-i-dont-regret-being-a-stay-at-home-mom_b_3849263.html ; https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/02/dont-rule-out-having-children-because-you-want-to-have-a-career/273154/
7. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/contraception ; https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/abortion
8. http://www.law.uchicago.edu/news/why-do-people-obey-law
9. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1046582/Can-abortion-Six-women-different-views-.html
10. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/14/opinion/overpopulation-is-not-the-problem.html
11. http://abortionprocedures.com/ ; http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SH.STA.MMRT ; http://www.lifenews.com/2013/04/05/1270-babies-born-alive-after-failed-abortions-in-the-united-states/
12. http://www.dailywire.com/news/12425/how-planned-parenthood-can-spend-taxpayer-money-frank-camp (This is not an official source, but where I got the example I used. It has some good insights, though, so I recommend reading it anyway); http://liveaction.org/abortioncorporation/
13. http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/policy/abortion/abreasons.html
14. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_syndrome#Abortion_rates ; http://healthresearchfunding.org/20-important-anencephaly-statistics/ ; http://www.ndss.org/DSWORKS/DSWORKS-Success-Stories/ ; http://www.anencephaly.info/e/stories.php ; pictures from Google images.